Dumb Drivers

Israeli statesman Moshe Dayan was once stopped by military police for exceeding the speed limit.  Dayan supposedly countered with: "I have only one eye.  What do you want me to watch--the speedometer or the road?"

(Arkadelphia Arkansas)--Mower DUI--Drinking and Mowing don't mix, as was proven by a local man.  Police say while mowing his lawn in an alcoholic daze, the man rammed a car adjacent to his property.  The man on the mower claimed a mechanical malfunction, but a quick breathalyzer turned the truth.  He was charged with driving while intoxicated.

(Waterloo Iowa)--Drunk DUI Class--A man sentenced to a drunk-driving prevention class failed the class...and a sobriety test after showing up.   Police--who were called by the people that run the school--say the man had a blood-alcohol content well above legal limits.  They aren't sure how he got there, but the student denies driving.

(Bozeman Montana)--I Live at WalMart--You see them everywhere....RV's.  But where do all those people stay when they're not clogging up the freeway?  WalMart, of course. Company officials say as long as the people parking overnight in their lots are customers, it's okay to call WalMart home.  They say the recreational vehicle crowd are very loyal shoppers.

(Lewisburg Pennsylvania)--Granny Ads--Motorists are getting more than an eyeful of a local grandmother.  It seems the sixty-seven year-old was featured on a roadside billboard sponsored by a local university's art department.   Although Grandma is covered by her underwear, her love-handles and age spots are plenty visible.  Beneath her is a caption that reads "Look at you loving me." 

(Oslo Norway)--Broken down thief....A tow truck driver became suspicious when he noticed the car he was trying to help start didn't have any license plates.  He called police, who determined the car was indeed stolen.  It turns out the thief stole the car, which broke down on him a short time later.

(San Bernardino California)--They Drive Our Kids--Ten people were hurt during a recent bus driver training exercise.  It happened when a bus went into a skid pan filled with water.  The bus went out of control and rolled over.

(Milton Pennsylvania)--Hit Twice--A fifty-three year-old man had some problems getting his truck started after stopping at the store.  He was pushing it with the door open when suddenly the motor caught.  He was knocked down and run over by the rear wheels.  But it didn't stop there.  The truck ran around full circle and ran over the man a second time.  The force turned the truck slightly.  It crashed into a wooden railing before it could come back around a third time.

(Manassas Virginia)--Kid Driver--Police pulled out all the stops chasing a suspected drunk driver after watching it sway from side to side.   After a ten-minute chase that averaged speeds of about fifty miles per hour, they were surprised to find a twelve-year-old girl behind the wheel.  She says she took the van out for a drive because her mother was busy at work.