Things NOT to Say to a Cop!

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!!

5. Excuse me. Is "stick up" hyphenated?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

8. Bad cop! No Donut!

9. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

10. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on "Cops"?

11. You look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand.

12. I pay your salary!

13. So, duhhhh, you on the take, or what?

14. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too.

15. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

16. I was trying to keep up with the other traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around, that's how far ahead of me they are.

17. What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained observer!